If you ever get to read my story, just know it was written by a dead man. My encounter is something I would have taken to my grave but on a second thought, I decided to share it with the world before I leave.

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My encounter was supposed to strengthen me, but I was too weak to withstand the heat and challenges of life. As I write this, I don’t even know if I would be able to write till the end because life is gradually leaving me, my energy is drained, my brain cells are dead. If at some point you notice I didn’t keep to grammatical rules, just know I lost it in the middle.

My name was Chigozirim; yes it was and also known as the Virgin man. For several years, I held my penis so tight and guarded it jealously as though my life and that of my descendants depends on it. I know you would raise your eye brow; well, I do not care about what you think. 

I came from a very poor background where my siblings and I struggled to get everything including water. We kept on managing the little my poor parents could provide till a day came when my Father woke up, went behind our house and hung himself.

Each time I recall this incident, I weep bitterly.The pains of watching my Father up there dangling like a withered leaf of a plant while reddish foam gush from his mouth has not left me. My 2 brothers and I could not afford to loose our Mother too to hardship, so we decided to save her the stress by dropping out from school. I was 17 while my brothers were 15 and 13.

We hawked and did lots of menial jobs to put food on the table. When we were able to save up, I wrote JAMB thrice hoping I would get admission to study medicine but luck was not on my side. Not that my score was not good, may be it’s because I had no money to bribe my way through. Out of frustration, I opted for Library and information Science. I wanted to be a graduate, secure a good job to be able to see my Brothers through school and take care of my Mother.

After so much struggling and hustling in and out of school, I graduated with first class and came out on top in my department. Unfortunately, even with my certificate, it seemed nobody was interested in my services except few private schools that offered to pay me just #15,000 per month. How was I supposed to see my brothers through with such salary after spending all we laboured for in the university. Honestly, seeing the four walls of the university was worthless, time and energy wasted. 

I left my family to hustle in the streets of Lagos hoping that a better opportunity would present itself. Before I left, I promised my Mother I was going to make her proud, I promised her I would stay away from women, cigarettes and alcohol. From the bottom of my heart, I swore to remain a virgin till I get married. I met so many bad guys who wanted to lure me into their gang promising to make me rich, but I turned them down.

I also met a group of handsome guys who call themselves sugar boys of sugar Mamas; They were living large no doubt but I could not imagine getting down with women as old as my mother. They laughed and made jest of me for still keeping my virginity which made me feel stupid. I almost joined them to prove the worth of my manhood to them, but I remembered what my Mother told me and advised myself.

I toiled the streets of Lagos in search of job, did menial jobs to eat everday. I aced many interviews but I was never hired that most times I felt the problem could be my grade or my course of study but on a second thought, I concluded that my interviewers were intimidated by my grade or may be I was cursed because there was no better way to explain the reason some of my course mates who I was better than were already employed while I still roam the streets of Lagos with my first class certificate.

One of the days I went for an interview where I got disqualified on the spot for reason I do not know, I walked in the rain not minding I had my original credentials that were not laminated. I was tired of life, I was tired of everything, I was frustrated, depressed that I thought of doing the same thing my Late Father did.

When I noticed my credentials were soaked, I squeezed, shredded them and flung them into the water. I gave up on job search, I zeroed my mind to do anything I could to make money. Life had pushed me so hard that I was not going to let my family suffer similar fate.

As I staggered in the rain, I cried in my heart wondering what tomorrow holds for me. In my mind I was asking “how long am I going to keep bearing Chigozirim and when is he going to eventually gozie(bless)me. Its obvious I was cursed, so I concluded I was no longer going to bear that name; hence my present  name “complicated”. Yes my life has been complicated and still is.

I was internally deaf that I didn’t realise a car was honking behind me. My attention was drawn when I heard the thunderous scream from behind “Mad man leave the road, are you deaf or something, will you get off my way”. The car was almost close to knocking me down, so I ran to the other side of the road.

The range rover sport was being driven by a very Beautiful and attractive woman. The Evening was dark and cloudy already because of the rain but the street light was on so I was able to catch a glimpse of her. Lest I forget, I am a very handsome guy, I have an attractive look with every thing manly in the right proportion and quite sizeable. My height and baritone voice I think are my selling points just as a woman’s curves, breast and bottom could be her selling point.

Upon I was in a drenched coat not even suit, the woman could not keep moving, instead she stopped and beckoned on me to come. I did, then she apologized for yelling at me blaming it on the bad evening she was having. I also apologized for blocking her way blaming it on the encounter I had at the interview venue. “if you are going my way, please hop in let me drop you off ok”. I didn’t waste a second to dive in to the car because I was already cold and tired.

The interior of her car was cozy and sweet, I could feel the wealth she controls all over me. I was lost in thought while I stared in the dark space asking God “why me? why my life has remained same”. That was my first time driving in such a luxurious car and I wished we could ride all night.  I got frozen by the AC while the romantic blues of the 80s she played blew me away that I fell into a trance fantasizing and dreaming of a life I imagined.

Unconsciously, I screamed ” chai! uwa m!(my world!). She shivered, turned and gave me a scary look. “What is it? are you ok?”. I felt embarrassed and apologized. She insisted on knowing why I shouted. Nobody knows where his or her help would come from, so I had to open up to her. I told her all I had been through and my encounter that day.

She showed compassion and said ” well, am not the wrong person you should be with. I love to catch fun most  evenings since my husband lives in Malaysia. I am not jobless, I manage my businesses in the day, then after I close, I take myself to treats most especially on weekends. Because of your mood right now, going home should be the last on your mind, tomorrow is Saturday! Let’s paint the town red tonight while I show you what money does; trust me, you will like it”.

Before I could even say “yes or no”, she increased the volume of the sound system and sped off. She wound her waist to the rhythm of the  music while she drove on a high speed. I was lost and confused because I didn’t know what she meant by “paint the town red” and exactly where she was taking me to. As a virgin man I was, I got scared but with time I relaxed and enjoyed the night cruise with her.

She took me to beautiful places I didn’t know were in Lagos for sightseeing but first she bought me a pair of jean and T.shirt to change my over sized drenched coat. We went to a comedy show that lasted for 2 hours where they got my ribs all cracked up, we visited the casino where she taught me how to play snooker.

When we got exhausted, she drove me to another world inside Lagos. That place is called CARINA’S PLACE. The place had a hotel, restaurant, swimming pool, a bar, and a club house. She told me we were going to get drunk so that we could forget our worries and get into a drolly mood. On hearing alcohol, my heart skipped a beat and I remembered the promise I made to my Mother.

I told her I was already in a good mood and needed no alcohol to be happier. She told me that what she was about to tell me would require me to take alcohol and further said that the night won’t be completely fun without alcohol in my system.she ordered for two bottles of red wine and  a full grilled cat fish.

Before we arrived there, we had already eaten white rice with cow’s leg pepper soup.I must confess, the fish was quite tempting and irresistible. She told them to get me a bottle of chilled water. Trust me, she was indeed fun to be with. I am 30 while she is 42 but looks twice as young as I am that I wished she was not married. I hissed  when I thought that even if she were single, she might not accept to be my wife because I do not have the capability to make her mine.

While eating and chatting she told me her friend owned that place and currently she wants to employ another staff who would manage the bar and the club house while the main manager manages the hotel, swimming pool and restaurant. On hearing that, the water in my mouth went into the wrong pipe and choked me. I coughed continuously while she laughed at me.

In my very before,she called her friend and told her to search no more after which she told me to look forward to meeting her friend the next day to discuss about the job if it was ok by me. I jumped up excitedly and hugged her. I hadn’t laughed like that in a while; I not only laughed, I danced like never before.  She told me to “calm down” and then handed me a glass of wine. Initially I thought she gave me my glass of water, I sipped it and quickly spat it out.

The little drink that went inside my throat gave me a chill feel that I saw the need to do something new; I forgot the promise I made to Mama and requested for more which she gave me till I started feeling tipsy. Before I knew what was happening, I had already taken down 4 glasses of red wine. I got drunk and the next place I saw myself was in a room but then I was already regaining consciousness. 

According to her, she gave me coconut juice and cleaned my body with cold water. When my eyes completely opened, I noticed I was on only on boxers, I sprang up from the bed and held my Penis very tight. “Please did you touch me? did you touch my …or…?. She smiled and replied ” I would not have done that without you being in a conscious state, I am not a rapist. By the way, I like you; can we?” “Can we what?” I asked. “Stop acting like a baby, don’t you know what a full grown beautiful woman like me would want from you? Moreover you are cute”. ” its not enough that you made me take alcohol against my wish, now you want me to loose my virginity to you? “Jesus!” she screamed. You mean a good looking young man like you naturally and beautifully endowed down there is still a virgin? I thought as much because something does not seem right about you. So I have been with an inexperienced man. I can’t imagine myself teaching you as though you are still in a kindergarten, really I don’t have such time”.

I replied “I am sorry I can’t give you what you want, and I don’t need your teachings either”. She became emotional and kept complaining about how she had imagined us having ourselves and enjoying the night together. She said she was highly disappointed at me that I could be that stingy to women by keeping my virginity. ” who still does that? how dare you do this to me. Its still 1AM and you think I would just sit and stare at you till morning? have you got a sleeping pill? how will I cope? Can’t you do something you virgin boy?”.

Honestly I was so surprised and wondered the reason for her frustration. We never planned to have sex, I never promised her anything, I thought we were just having a good time out there. I thought of what to do to help her calm down at least but could not think of anything. I had female friends back then in school but never gave room for intimacy.

While thinking of what to do, she screamed “oh! no!! I can’t take this, take a good look at me and tell me you are not moved, of course only a blind man or a virgin boy would not see this embodiment of sexiness”. I got irritated and screamed “shut up! have you gone insane? are you sex addict? I thought you are a married woman, why can’t you hold yourself, cover up and ask God for forgiveness. Look, I am not a pastor but I believe I am an anointed man of God and still have some shame and decency left inside of me. If you think I will get down with you tonight, you are a joker. I will loose my virginity but not this way and not to someone’s wife” she halted me in a loud tone “don’t you ever remind me that I am married, don’t ever try it. Do you know what it means to be married for 10 years without a husband. I have only met him thrice and those thrice I took in. Presently I have 3 kids without a husband. He would not come home and would not let me visit. Now do you understand my frustration? when you accepted to have fun with me and paint the town red, did you think we were going to kiddies wonderland to do a merry go round or play hide and seek? You were happy with me before now and now you are making me feel bad and even have the guts to remind me of the part of my life that hurts me so much. Do you know what it feels like to be sex starved? Obviously you do not know because you are still a baby in kindergarten.  You know what? I have lost interest, I am no longer in the mood, just go ahead and sleep with your virginity but just know you have ruined my night”.

I felt for her no doubt but you know my hands were tied. I felt more emotional when she started crying, so I went close to her, apologized for raising my voice and made her understand I didn’t mean to ridicule her. I quite understood her pains and anger in as much as she was going the wrong way. The least I could do was to give her a warm hug and assured her she will be fine. Something happened to me when I held her in my arms. I felt this shock or in fact I can’t tell. The feelings was awesome I must confess. I had an …, this is story for another life.

The next morning, she thanked me for cuddling her to sleep, apologized and promised she would not touch the anointed again. She mocked me and we laughed over it before leaving the hotel room. When she dropped me at my junction, she gave me #20,000 to buy new cloths for my interview scheduled for 12PM with her friend. My mouth remained wide open till she drove off. I was surprised because I thought after what happened between us, she would not recommend me for the job.

Fortunately for me, I was good enough to impress Mrs Carina during the interview and as God had it, she didn’t ask for my credentials because she trusted her friend’s judgement. She gave me my appointment letter to resume work the following day. I was shown my well furnished apartment at the staff quarter before I left. Honestly, I least expected to get that job; I was so excited and grateful to God for blessing me with Tessy.

I gave the job my best even though it was very challenging but the beautiful thing was I could send money home to my siblings and mother to support their business and I insisted they took up part time courses in a good university. 6 months into the job, I was given a salary raise to#180,000. I had fun working there, I met people including dignitaries who usually hang out at the bar in the evening and I made sure they were properly taken care of which attracted constant tips to me.

My life changed within 6 months except one thing (laughs). Mrs Tessy and I still remained close friends. We were always together most nights chatting and having fun; I learned so much from her but the good thing about her was she respected my boundary. one thing I could not let her find out was the fact that I fell in love with her. Tessy was everything, very fun loving, caring and too good to a fault; she is not as loose as I earlier thought just that she wanted to be happier but in a wrong way. I thought I liked her as a friend but as time went on, the feelings I had for her became more intense as I grew more fond of her then I started imagining her being my woman but you know, she was unavailable and I had no other choice than to start avoiding her. 

One day, after close of work, as the manager of the bar section, I needed to make sure everything was in place. While shifting the chairs, I saw a woman sleeping on the chair; she appeared drunk, so I tapped her to wake up but she could not move but managed to say “please take me to my car”. There was nobody around to help me, so I managed to carry her up and held her by the waist.

I brought her outside contemplating on taking her to her car or  getting a cab to drive her home. A man slammed into the bar’s gate shouting “so you are the one trying to take advantage of my wife, you got her drunk and still want to rape her right. Officer get him”. I was dumbfounded, I tried to talk, but they would not let me. The woman was snatched from me while I was dragged by my trouser into their van and driven to the police station for a crime I did not commit.

The case was taken to court but unfortunately my lawyer could not defend me because there was no evidence to prove I was innocent. Nobody believed I was only helping her and She testified against me.  She said I invited her to the bar to employ her as a cleaner. When she arrived, I offered her a bottle of malt which intoxicated her and when she realized she was drugged, she called her husband to bring the police along. There was nobody to speak for me and the worst of it all was the CCTV footage was not found. 

I needed nobody to tell me that it was a set up but I didn’t know who could have done that. Tessy tried her best to help me out, but she didn’t succeed. Just like a dream, I was thrown behind bars to spend the rest of my life there. This is the reason I told you my life indeed is a complicated one and now I believe my family is cursed as nothing good might come out of it. Only my immediate younger brother knew I was in prison because I begged him not to tell my mummy what happened. before  I started writing this, I gave him my ATM card so that he would have access to the funds in my bank account.

I sent for my close friend at work so I could give him my story to help me publish. That day he came, he wore a long face and I asked him what happened, he told me he just discovered something that aches his heart but didn’t know how to share it with me. When I insisted, he told me he over heard Mrs Carina telling some one on phone “well-done for a job well done, he is out and out of Tessy’s life too, she can now rest”. He told me he found out that Carina and Tessy are no longer in talking terms. She was obviously envious of her friend thinking we were dating .

I flashed back to that week she employed me and I recalled she was too friendly and always starred at me lustfully. As time went on, she realized I didn’t have time for such and was much closer to her friend Tessy. she stopped and started exhibiting boss like attitude which were fine by me. So that was it, She set me up.
My friend promised to help me get out of the prison, but unfortunately it was already late as the poisonous substance I drank was already eating up my intestines. I took the insecticide during manual labour because I knew I would need it soon. I didn’t give him the copy of my story again because I wanted to include this part too so that people would know who set me up.

What hurts me most is am going to die a virgin; I wish I allowed myself to explore and enjoy my life to the fullest. I wish I finally expressed myself to the only woman I loved, I wish I made love to her. I would hand this over to the prison Warder to help me publish it so that the world would know I was unjustly tried, judged and sentenced for a crime I did not commit just because I chose to be different. Like I said earlier, if you ever get to read my story, just know it was written by  a dead man.

Mummy, I am sorry I have to go. My lovely brothers Beluchi and Chima, please forgive me. Tessy, I will forever love you; even in the world beyond, thanks for understanding me, do take care of yourself and please  stay away from Carina.




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